Of Olórin and Nienna
by EnduranceInHope
Summary: An investigation of Gandalf's character formation throughout his relationship with the Vala Nienna.
1. The First Part of Pity

**Hi Everyone, I'm currently trying to work through some writer's block with my LOTR story Miracle, so I decided to write one for the Silmarillion. I hope you all enjoy!**

The pathway to her house wasn't as worn as the path to Valimar or to the dwellings of the other Valar. But that fact hardly bothered Olórin, and he loved walking her path. The red-brown dirt was a great contrast to the jade green fields that surrounded the one-story cottage. Simbelmynë, a small, white, and seemingly unremarkable flower, was abundant. Blue lavender forget-me-nots (a gift from Yavanna) could also be found in those fields, though closer to the house. Overall, it was a welcoming sight. The supposed paradox between the lady's surroundings and her often sorrow filled countenance had, naturally, confused the Maia at first. However, over time, he came to understand that though she was often sad, that was not what she wished for those around her.

"Part of pity," she once told him, "is learning to lift people up. To help them feel loved and comforted. People think pity is a bad thing Olórin. But don't let that be your mistake. Let pity move you to help others, even in small ways."

That was the first of many lessons he learned from the lady of mercy.


	2. Waiting

She was wearing white today—a rare choice for her. But he supposed that even Nienna grew weary of black and gray at all times. As he approached her she lifted her head to smile at him in greeting. She always had a smile for others it seemed. The green grass that she was sitting in bowed and swayed in the light, cool, breeze. Her hair—auburn for that day—blew about her face, making her look more like a young lady then the millennia old being that she was.

"Sit with me my friend."

He obliged. What could one say to a request from one of the Valar after all? The silence stretched for many moments. She remained still, with her eyes closed and a relaxed look on her face. He grew restless and began to cast his eyes about as if looking for something to do. A soft hand on his arm stilled him. 

"Peace Olórin, be still. It is true that we are beings who do not tire easily, but we still cannot give what we ourselves do not have."

"I don't understand." Her soft smile in response made him feel so naïve.

"My kin and I anticipate the fulfillment of all things, for the day when what was promised in the midst of Erú's music comes to pass. Though we know that the completion of the music will happen, we must wait in the mean time. It is a hard thing for us." Her expression darkened slightly. "The Children, the First-born and the men, wait for a time when peace will come to them. They are constantly besieged by evil and they know not when their next deliverance will come. So they wait and respond to the call to fight. There will come a time, my friend, when you will wait with them. Seeking Erú's will and waiting for it to be accomplished. You must learn to wait, and in time teach others to do the same."


	3. Why?

"My lady, may I ask you a question?" Nienna turned to her companion and gave him a mischievous smile.

"You have asked me one already Olórin." He desperately suppressed the desire to roll his eyes. The lady chuckled. "Very well my friend, you may ask." At that Olórin thought the better of his question, not knowing if it would be appropriate. Sensing his hesitation, the Vala set aside her painting and leaned forward.

"You need not be afraid to ask difficult questions. I am here to answer them and answer you I will, according to what you need to know. He nodded.

"Why did you speak for… him?"

"Him?" Her brows furrowed together. "You mean Melkor?" The Maia nodded again, not at all eager to speak the fallen Vala's name. Nienna sighed,

"I believed there was yet hope for him. I am not naïve. I knew that he could have been playing us. However, I also hoped that he would turn his heart and mind to our purpose once again, that showing him mercy may help in that effort. Alas that was not to be."

Olórin stared at the length of wood in his lap, not sure how to respond. Looking up once more he surprisingly saw a glint of tears in the lady's eyes.

"This hurts you?"

"Of course it does. When someone disappoints you there is always pain. Melkor could have done great things if he had not become prideful and gone outside of the music. The world and our company would have been much richer for his work. But Melkor did not want that. Such was his choice." Her wise eyes stared into his, "You wish to ask another question?"

"Was it worth it?" he asked quietly, once again staring down. Silence reigned in the cottage for a long moment. Finally he heard her chair scraping forward across the floor and felt her hand come under his chin, bringing his eyes to look into hers.

"Yes, I believe it was. We were all made with a choice and with that comes chances. I do not know of an instance where Erú refuses someone the opportunity to change. If there is the slightest possibility that a change of heart, from evil to good, could take place we should make the chance available."

The Maia considered all he was told. "I do not know if I could bear that hurt." She smiled sadly.

"It is a great burden to bear, but do not let the fear of hurt close your heart to those who need compassion. Give it anyway and trust that Erú will not give you a burden you cannot carry. Remember this."

"I will."


End file.
